She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
