I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
