You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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