You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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