Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
