No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
