I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
