my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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