The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
