Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
