So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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