Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
