I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
soo... how was my night?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
