Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
