so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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