When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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