if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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