yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
