too bad you live with your parents still
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
