i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
