I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
