I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
