No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
