i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
