God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
