Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
