There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
