It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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