and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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