Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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