She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So here I am, sexting at work.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
