she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
cat food counts as protein by the way
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
