I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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