OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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