I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
