You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
