the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you mean i was at the winter classic?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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