You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
