You can't special order awesome
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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