There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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