Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
