I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
