are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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