He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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