He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
