I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
