so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
