I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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