how can u be prego again
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
