you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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